Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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