Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize