She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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