i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
