I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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