drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
