The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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