Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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