You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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