Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
