You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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