sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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