Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Randomize