i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
