im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize