I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
