I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
