I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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