Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
