Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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