I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize