hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
