You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
