Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize