All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
