just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
