at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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