he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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