WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
