you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
