Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I need to calm my uterus...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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