he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize