I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
