yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
