1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
