i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
