My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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