okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i need some magic done to my vagina
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
