Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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