Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
