I hate your face
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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