I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
