My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
