Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
