that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
