I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
