I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
