i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
