i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize