problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Come share oat with me in your robe
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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