i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
