I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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