He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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