I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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