so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
