All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
