Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize