Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
