I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
