Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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