phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
