Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I didn't notice because vodka
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
