I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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