can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
this hospital has no fireball
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize