hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
