How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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