That's when you crack a 10am beer
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize